I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
