he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
