I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
