i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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