Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
