Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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