I feel great
I just peed on a car
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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