Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize