The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
