I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Boobs speak an international language.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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