YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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