do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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