i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
