I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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