i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
