Nicole vs. Life
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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