haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize