Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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