you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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