Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
