Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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