Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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