$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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