trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
