even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
