Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
