I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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