So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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