Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
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