my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
