she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
