I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
