I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize