I'm going to jail i love you
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
