her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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