so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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