Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize