That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dick very happy bro
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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