you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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