Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
