Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
