Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
