OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
When are your genitals available?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
