he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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