i already hear my dad disowning me
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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