turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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