I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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