She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
