I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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