his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
