This girl is more easily done than said...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.