Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
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Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
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Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe