He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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