I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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