WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am midnight drunk by noon
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The feeling are messing with the penis
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him