I smell stomach acid.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
