Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
