I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
