Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
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