it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
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I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
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Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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