You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
