would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
