Me too!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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