All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize