You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
