arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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